Having low self esteem seems to be a huge problem with our young people today. Some teens are only able to identify with bad traits, and they allow those traits to become the main part of their character. They will not try out for anything new or interesting because they are sure they will be rejected. Since their own self worth is so low, they assume other people feel the same about them.
Of course, it is true that when people have a low opinion of themselves and constantly present themselves that way to others, then other people come to share that view.
If you are constantly saying "I'm a loser" in one way or another, then other people are going to believe you after a while. And surely, once you get people to believe that too, it will validate your views even more. It becomes hard for you to distinguish that the only reason these other people think you are a loser is because that's how you presented yourself to them.
So, how do you bring this cycle to an end? The first important point is to watch what you say. Actively listen to yourself, and try to determine how often you put yourself down when you talk to family and friends.
It might be necessary for you to record yourself. It's easy these days since many MP3 players allow you to record voice memos. Or you can carry around a little digital recorder. When you play it back, imagine if the most confident and popular person in your class was saying what you are saying. Would those words shock you? This is a good way for you to understand how you come through to people.
Our own inner voices put us down as well. This is called negative self talk and it is one of the most powerful causes of low self esteem in people of any age. We are often unaware of the whole process, so it is much harder to control and manage. However, if you can control what you say out loud to other people, you might be able to learn how to manage some of the self talk also.
If you notice that you are in the middle of or getting ready to say something negative about yourself, immediately do your best to change it with something positive. Try to say good things to yourself, the same as you would with a friend you are trying to comfort.
Teen low self esteem is a very common problem. Teens have many challenges and they are in the midst of many changes. Just about every teen has some negative thoughts from time to time, even the ones that are very confident. Avoid feeling low because you feel low about yourself.
Addressing the problem as soon as possible is the best way to deal with it. We can improve our self image and most people will do this automatically as they grow up and find their place in the world. However, following these simple guidelines can make teens feel better even before they grow up.
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