Low self esteem in men is often related to one's perception of what a real man should be. It is generally believed that a man should be someone who's handsome, tall, smart, and able to do just about everything, mechanically and personally. A real man rebels against injustice, stands up for his beliefs and protects those that can' protect themselves.
It is easy to see how a man could place a low value to his own self if he can't live up to his ideal. Unfortunately, if one comes to accept this ideal as reality, he will easily feel inadequate because of his many shortfalls and his inability to measure up to his ideal persona. That is, unless he can develop some different beliefs about the value of human beings.
Of course, most or all of us do not fit the 'perfect guy' ideal in one way or another. So, how come it is easier for some men compared to others, to accept the fact that they will never be the ideal man?
The cause of this difference of beliefs often goes all the way back to childhood. Other people's responses to us when we are young can be internalized so that we believe they are true always and forever. It is nearly impossible for a kid to maintain his own perspective on a certain situation.
For one thing, most kids believe that what their parents say is absolute truth. So if the parents seem to believe that their kid is lacking in some way, he will grow up believing that too. He quickly forgets that this was just his parents' attitude, as it appeared to him when he was small. He suddenly values himself less than he should.
But the good news is that even for these men low self esteem can be overcome. Here are some things you can try to get yourself on the right path.
Come to accept the fact that there is no mould everyone should fit, and there is no ideal man.
Comparing yourself with other men is pointless. Not one person is like any other, and in the eyes of a greater mind, we all have the same value.
Come up with goals you can stick with. Break them down step by step and keep doing the steps until you get there. Even small successes can make a difference to how you feel about yourself.
Be aware of words such as should, must, can't in your thought patterns and in your speech. These show up that there is a gap between where you are and where you think you should be. Get back in control of things.
Low feelings of self worth take you to a lower and lower self esteem. And also, doesn't the perfect man have extra confidence also? If you have low self esteem you have yet another reason to feel low about yourself. If you are a man suffering from low self esteem, you should seek help as soon as possible, before things get completely out of hand.
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