What is self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things, but this is just a process in our minds. And this is NOT a good thing.
Patriots lose the Super Bowl, and you, being a fan of Tom Brady and the Pats, act as if YOU lost the big game. Your car is damaged and it feels like YOU are hurt. Somebody attacks who they think you are, and it is as though they could actually reach inside and poke at your true self. Is there a way to escape this unnecessary drama and pain?
Perhaps, if you can see what you are not. Having some clarity in this regard can act as a salve for the inevitable pain caused by identification. Try this simple meditation.
The Self Identity Meditation Exercise
Find, a nice, comfortable place to meditate. As you close your eyes, take deep breaths and aspirate through your nose. Your breathing must be natural and not forced in any way. Expunge the anxiety and tension as you repeat this action.
You would then want to ask yourself these questions - where am I, what am I and who am I. Reflect on the meaning of these questions for a few quality moments.
Next, think of your body. Think of an appendage, perhaps a leg. Without such body part, would you be good as dead? Is your life based on just one appendage? Then continue going through your other body parts and ask "Is this myself", "Am I here" as you go along.
Slowly open your eyes and look at all those inanimate objects around you. You = inanimate object? Maybe it you feel pain when your favorite chair breaks, as though it were you. However, you are NOT a chair! Ask yourself which of these things you own are you. But convince yourself fully by asking "Am I this?"
Say your full name with your eyes closed. This is your identity, can you feel it? What if you did not have a name? Then ask yourself, "Am I really (state your name)". Answer with pure honesty. This may be difficult, so you may try saying "I am Tom Brady of the New England Patriots" or "I am John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith", or any other name that isn't yours. Notice how when you call yourself by another name, you feel differently. Think of your name as an amalgam of different ideas and concept that others may see in a unique way.
Counter feelings by asking yourself if you are certain emotions, phobias, desires, etc. Your feelings are not you - they just pass through you. Do not confuse your self-identity either with your wardrobe, your BMI, your reputation, the whole works.
Meditate constantly for twenty minutes, then inhale deeply, exhale, and you're free to stand up. By now you should have lesser attachment to the stimuli around you that often are confused with your self-identity. Do the meditation as often as necessary, to remind you of what you are not.
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